


Things Unseen

by paintitb1ack



Series: In Me [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Episode: s11e11 Into the Mystic, Explicit Sexual Content, Hallucifer, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Physical Abuse, Psychological Torture, Sam Hallucinates, Sam Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sexual Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:55:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5875087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintitb1ack/pseuds/paintitb1ack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When we saw 'Into the Mystic,' we were shown that, once again, Sam is being plagued by Lucifer, whether it be just in thoughts or (possibly) nightmares. We also got our first view of Lucifer!Cas and how he is (sort of) able to convince others that he is Castiel. Dean, of course, had a very difficult time in that episode as well but, personally, I find Sam Winchester a whole lot more fun to write. I'm not a sadist. Promise.<br/>- As said in 'Consent,' I will only be using language allowed on the show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam Winchester enters the Men of Letters War Room with only one goal in mind: stay awake. 

The past few days have been complete hell, and he knows exactly why. But, as always, he’s been ignoring the problem, trying to shove every reminder of Him to the back of his mind. And it’s been a success. Or at least for the time being.

**_Sammy…_ **

Nightmares are a regularity once again. It has been about a year since the last one featuring Him, but their meeting obviously set Sam back a few paces on his path to recovery. 

**_C’mon, Sam…_ **

He pulls one of the large books from its shelf and sets it down on the table. It’s best to ignore His voice; the past taught him nothing if not to avoid interacting with hallucinations. He understands that soon will come a far greater problem - a physical manifestation - and God only knows if he will be able to handle that.

**_You won’t._ **

Sam opens the book, flips to a random page, and begins to read. He doesn’t care what it’s about, that it’s detailing something he already knows; he just wants something to hold his attention until the sun rises and he can go for a run.

**_Why are you ignoring me?_ **

He covers his ears with his hands and tries to focus on the words before him. But his vision is blurred and he can feel an immense pain pressing against the back of his head.

**_Sam…_ **

He closes his eyes. 

“Sam?”

The gentle voice pulls him swiftly from the fog and back into reality, and suddenly Sam finds himself face-to-face with his older brother.

Dean looks at him with poorly concealed apprehension, green eyes searching Sam’s own. “Are you alright?”

The boy nods, His words for the moment fleeing his mind. “I’m fine.”

“The hell you are,” Dean grunts. He reaches towards Sam, intending to help his brother up and back to his room.

But Sam jumps back, a wounded cry in his throat.

Dean immediately retreats. “Hey,” he says, hands raised in front of him. “Sam. Sam, look at me.”

Breathing ragged, Sam looks up at his older brother. “I don’t—“ he starts, but it’s too much, it’s all too much. He can’t think, he can’t breathe, he can’t

“Sammy,” Dean tries again. “Sammy, it’s me.”

And then the room is plunged into darkness. 

Sam freezes, fingers tightening around the edges of his seat.

_oh god_

Metal clinks across stone floor; screams begin to leak from the corners of the room. 

_oh god oh god please_

Fire travels up the walls and Sam wants to move away from the heat but he can feel His eyes upon him and what can he do but keep still?

“It’s okay.” Dean’s voice searches for him through the hellish cries that only Sam can hear. “It’s okay; we got you out. He’s never gonna hurt you again.”

_He_

“What?” Sam says, the madness weakening his comprehension.

"Lucifer."

The name hits Sam like a truck.

_Him_

Vision slowly clearing, he turns his eyes to his brother.

_no_

Sam pulls back, falling off of the bench. 

_it’s Him oh god oh god it’s Him_

Dean is gone.

And Lucifer has taken his place.

“Aw, come back, Sam,” the archangel coos, looking down on him.

_no no no_

Sam rolls over and up onto his hands and knees, pausing for a moment as he attempts to regain control of his mind.

“Let’s get together, play a game.”

He pushes himself to his feet, eyes closed in a futile attempt at prayer.

_our father, who art in heaven_

“How about ‘Doctor’?” Lips pursed, Lucifer scuffs his shoe against the ground. “You always enjoyed that one.”

_hallowed be thy goddamn name_

Sam turns around, the closeness of the angel making his heart stop.

Lucifer smiles. “What do you say, roomie?”

Mustering up as much courage as he possibly can, the younger Winchester throws a punch. But it’s wild and miscalculated and, with a quick duck, it is easily avoided.

_no_

A horrible force slams against his chest as Lucifer tackles him to the floor. “Damn it, Sam,” the angel growls, but Sam pays no more attention to his words.

“Please,” he cries out, still swinging his arms, still fighting, still trying to save himself from what he knows is coming next. “Please, just go away, please.”

_please please please_

Lucifer easily catches Sam by the wrists and pins them to his chest, shaking his head in frustration and disappointment.

Tears flow freely down the boy’s pale cheeks. “Stop.” His voice cracks, terror coating every word. “Leave me alone. Please.”

_please please please_

“Look at me,” the angel says softly.

“No.” Sam shakes his head, still trying to pull away. “No.”

Lucifer leans in closer. “You can do it, Sammy. You can do it.”

“Please!” The boy releases a tortured scream.

_can’t do it can’t do it can’t_

“Come on.”

_wait_

“Come on, little big man.”

_little big man little big man little_

“You can do it.”

_Dean._

Chest tight, Sam looks up.

Lucifer’s face ripples and falls away, quickly replaced by Dean’s own freckled skin.

A new hope floods Sam’s veins. “Dean?”

“There he is.” His older brother smiles and readjusts his position so that he is now at his side.

**_Still here, baby._ **

Sam closes his eyes and takes his head in his hands. “Oh, God,” he whispers. “Oh, God, Dean, he’s back.” He digs his nails into his skin. “He’s back.”

Dean’s face falls. This can’t happen, not again. “You’re seeing him,” he says quietly.

The tears come even faster now as the boy looks up, blurred vision realizing the return of Lucifer’s smug expression. “Oh, God,” he moans, the unrelenting fear still swirling in his stomach.

Dean takes him in his arms, slowly this time, and pulls him to his chest. “It’s okay, Sammy,” he murmurs as Sam sobs into his shoulder. “It’s okay.” He tightens his hold, grip not once faltering. “I’ve got you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter: Satan.

Dean looks over at his brother and sighs.

Sam has been asleep for the past fifteen hours, courtesy of little drug known as thiopental. The creator of the sedative, Doctor Ralph Waters, was a part of The Men of Letters in the 1930s and, fortunately for the Winchesters, kept a few vials for himself in the bunker. It is a primeval version, of course, but it works. 

Yawning, Dean leans back in his chair. He hasn’t taken a break since he put Sam to bed, and he won’t be taking one anytime soon. He’s considered calling Cas, but he figures his presence will do more harm than good. 

All those years ago, when Sam first began remembering his time in The Cage, he acquired an intense fear of angels. He avoided Cas like the plague, going so far as to barricade himself in his room when he maintained a wound that mere stitches couldn’t heal. Dean eventually talked him into opening the door, which gave him the opportunity punch him in the jaw, knocking him out. Cas saved his life, but Sam wouldn’t speak to either of them for the next two months. 

“Is he alright?”

Dean doesn’t even flinch; considering their frequency, Cas’ surprise appearances don’t really faze him anymore. “No,” he says quietly, eyes still on Sam. “That run-in with Lucifer… It brought a lot of stuff back up.”

Cas purses his lips. “How bad is he?”

“He’s—“ Dean exhales harshly. “He’s seeing him again.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Remember the first time you opened the gateway to Purgatory? When you broke the wall in Sam’s mind, he started hallucinating,” he explains, tone clearly conveying that he has yet to forgive the angel for this slight. “Specifically Lucifer.”

Cas looks away for a moment, a small smile flickering across his face; he’s impressed. 

**_Cool._ **

Reverting back to an expression of pity, he bows his head, voice soft: “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. So am I.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Cas leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms.

The older Winchester shifts in his seat. “I let him summon Lucifer. Alone.”

“What happened inside that Cage was not your doing,” Cas says firmly. “It was Lucifer’s.”

"Yeah." Dean glances up at the angel and nods. “Sure.” 

A broken whine suddenly interrupts, pulling both of their attention towards Sam.

“No,” the boy cries in his sleep, grip tightening on the blankets as he strains against imagined bindings. The agony he feels radiates from the tears that slide down his cheeks. “Please, no,” he begs. “No!"

“Cas,” Dean murmurs as he stands, every one of Sam’s calls for mercy like a knife through his heart. “Cas, please tell me you can do something.”

“Dean—“

The older Winchester turns on the angel, grip tight on his coat as he slams him against the wall. “Tell me you can do something!” he barks, so wrought with terror that he doesn’t even notice the blade that appears in Cas’ hand or the red that for a half-second floods his eyes. 

**_Patience,_ ** Cas reminds himself, and slides the knife back into his sleeve. “I can relieve him of his nightmares,” he responds gently, doing his best to hide the anger he feels at being given commands. “But Dean, you must understand that I have yet to gather enough strength to try and heal him completely.”

Dean releases him. “Just do it.”

Cas nods and immediately moves towards the bed. He squats down next to it, taking the boy in, undressing him in his mind. **_Oh, Sam, how I’ve missed you._** The angel touches two fingers to his temple and closes his eyes. He can hear Dean’s breathing hitch as his brother finally stills, receding into uninterrupted sleep. Pulling back a strand of Sam’s hair, Cas leans in close, lips skimming the boy’s ear as he whispers in Enochian:

**_Sleep tight, roomie._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Dr. Ralph Waters actually existed. On March 8, 1934, he was the first to use thiopental on other human beings.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

“Hey.”

Sam takes a plaid shirt from his dresser drawer and glances up at Dean. “”Hey” back.”

Seeing what he’s doing, the older Winchester raises a hand. “Now, wait, hold on there a second.”

“Yeah?” Sam asks expectantly.

Dean furrows his brow, confused at having to state the obvious. “You’ve been out cold for the last three days. Don’t you think you should be taking it easy?”

Sam slides his arms through the sleeves and shakes his head. “I’m fine.” He begins to button the shirt but suddenly all he feels is Lucifer’s fingers against his skin, and his stomach spasms in pain.

**_Oh no, Sammy. That’s not pain. That’s something much, much better._ **

_stay present_

**_Suit yourself._ **

Sam quickly finishes his task and shakes his head at Dean, repeating, “I’m fine.”

His brother steps in front of him, blocking his way to the door. “I’m sure you are,” he says, tone suggesting the complete opposite. “But maybe eat something first, okay?”

Sam’s eyes flick over Dean’s shoulder. There’s no way he’s getting out of here unless he concedes. He sighs, but his irritation quickly turns to amusement when he sees what Dean is holding in his hand. “Did… did you make me a smoothie?”

Dean glances down at the drink. “Maybe.”

“A _vegetable_ smoothie?” Grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, Sam accepts the glass and takes a small sip. “Huh,” he says, enjoying his brother’s discomfort. “Not bad."

_“Not bad?”_ Dean scoffs. “Are you serious? It’s fan-freakin-tastic! I pureed the hell outta every single leaf of the disgusting crap you have in your fridge!”

Sam shrugs. “You know, you might like it if you try it.”

“Well, then, I guess we’re never going to find out.”

Sam laughs and follows Dean out of the room. “You know what the best part about this smoothie is? Kale. You remember kale, right?”

“Of course I remember kale, jackass.” Dean shoots him a glare, but that only encourages the smirk on Sam’s face. “Stupid Roman and his Leviathan sons of bitches.”

“Yeah, he was a real dick.”

Dean stops walking and just shakes his head, unable to keep from smiling. “Shut up.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Don’t say “yeah, okay” like “ _yeah, okay”._ ”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Screw you.”

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

Sam looks over at Dean and sighs. “I miss this, you know? Us?”

“Yeah.” His brother’s face dims. “Me too.”

“Are you guys done flirting? ‘Cause I’ve got things to do.”

Sam turns his attention confusedly towards the main room, trying to match the gravelly voice to its owner’s sarcastic tone.

“A little privacy would be nice!” Dean fires back, then takes Sam by the hand, saying, “Someone _else_ obviously wants to see you too.”

Sam allows himself to be led through the doorway, gaze immediately locking on the man sitting at the table. “Cas!”

The angel rises from the bench. “Sam,” he says softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, actually,” Sam replies as he starts towards him. “I’m not—“

_oh_

His breathing catches.

_oh god please_

**_whoops_**

“Hey, man, you okay?” Dean touches him on the arm and he jumps, but not once do his eyes leave Cas’ face. 

“Do you—” Sam starts, gesturing towards the angel. “Do you see see that?”

“See what?”

Sam’s voice rises in a panic. “His— his eyes.”

Cas glances over at Dean, confused. 

Dean returns the look. “Nothing’s wrong with them.”

“No.” The younger Winchester shakes his head. “No, they’re— they’re red.”

Dean looks again, makes an attempt to convince himself that maybe, _just maybe,_ Sam is right, that he’s lucid. But he can’t. His own chest tightens. “They’re blue, Sammy. Blue.” He takes the flannel sleeve between his fingers. “Are you sure you don’t wanna lie back down?”

“No, I—“

_wait_

Sam’s mouth opens and closes, uncomprehending, watching as the blood drains from Cas’ eyes. “I don’t—“ He shakes his head.

_focus_

“I’m sorry,” he says eventually, addressing the angel. “I must have— I must have been seeing things.”

But Cas merely smiles, waving away the apology. “It’s alright. I understand. And don’t worry. I’ll watch over you.” He reaches out a hand, ready to comfort the boy. 

“Don’t touch me!” Sam barks, shoving his brother in front of him.

Cas retracts his arm. “Dean?”

Ignoring him, Dean pulls Sam gently aside. “Are you sure you don’t want to—“

“I’m fine,” the younger Winchester growls. He throws a glance towards Cas. “Just keep him away from me.” 

“Sammy…” Dean trails off as he watches him skirt the edges of the room - keeping as far away from the angel as possible - and finally sitting down at the far end of the bench. With a heavy sigh, he sets himself opposite Cas.

“Why is he afraid of me?” Cas asks in a whisper.

“It’s not you, Cas.” Dean rubs at his face. “It’s _all_ angels. Hell, a couple millennia with one who hates my ass and they’d scare the crap outta me too.”

Sam watches them both, swallowing hard as Cas looks at him with a curious smile on his face. 

Suddenly the angel’s entire body begins to blur and, within seconds, his shape is taken over by that of Lucifer.

**_Hey there, good lookin’._ **

Sam drops his glass, the smoothie spilling across the table.

**_Still know how to get your attention, don’t I?_ **

Hands to his head, he turns away.

_leave me alone_

**_And why would I do that?_ **

Dean falls in beside his brother and turns him so that they are face-to-face. “Sammy. Sammy, come on, stay with me this time. Stay with me on this one.”

Sam closes his eyes.

“Stay with me.”

_i’m fine i’m fine i’m fine i’m fine_

**_Sure you are._ **

“I’m fine,” Sam murmurs, this time repeating the mantra aloud. “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.”

**_Oh, yeah, keep going. Nothing like a few tears to send_ me _away._**

Dean takes hold of his hand.

**_You just don’t get it, do you?_ **

“Eyes on me, Sam.”

**_You’re stuck with me, sweetheart._ **

Hissing in desperation, Dean presses down on his palm, digging his nail into the skin.

**_I’m it._ **

“Stone number one, Sammy, remember?”

_i know this i know this i know this_

“You’re real.”

“Good.” Dean nods. “Good. Keep going.”

_okay okay okay_

“You got me out.”

“That’s right. We did it. We got you out.”

_yes_

Sam takes a shuddering breath and looks up at his big brother. “I believe you.”

Dean smiles in relief. 

They did it. 

He touches a hand to Sam’s cheek and looks him in the eyes for a moment. “Okay,” he says finally. He helps the boy to his feet. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Sam affords one tired glance towards Cas as they walk back to his room, taking in the unchanged blonde hair and green jacket. 

Cas winks at him.

**_See you in two hours, roomie._ **

Sam turns away and tightens his grip on Dean’s arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed "Don't say "yeah okay" like "yeah okay"" from one of the cutting room floor scenes of the show. The clip is titled "Life in Motel Rooms". I included the link in case any of you wanted to check it out.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCao2VulYTo
> 
> \----
> 
> I promise, that was his last major panic attack.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unmasked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song at the beginning is 'Goodnight My Friend' from 'Galavant', and it is sung by Tim Omundson (who played Cain on Supernatural).  
> Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TKG_0GfbJ4

**_Lay by my side and we’ll sail away, off to the shores of another day, all set to go when I hear you say, goodnight my friend, until the morning…_ **

Castiel sings silently, melodic voice drifting through the air.

**_Up we will float as we close our eyes, stars all around us like fireflies, just me and you drifting through the skies, goodnight my friend…_ **

He settles himself in on Sam’s bed, lying beside the boy as he sleeps.

**_Not a thought, not a care, resting safe and sound, with each other there…_ **

Sam rolls over, cheek brushing against the angel’s stomach, head resting in the crook of his arm. Cas smiles and threads his fingers through his hair.

**_And so we’ll rock on our nighttime ride, cozy and warm on the rolling tide, till we arrive on the morning side, our journey’s end…_ **

He brushes a thumb against Sam’s cheek as the boy curls his fingers around the edges of his coat.

**_Goodnight, sleep tight, we’re gonna be alright…_ **

Castiel leans in closer, singing the final line aloud. “Goodnight my friend…”

Sam finally stirs, the voice cutting into his sleep. “Deaaaan,” he groans as he turns away and yanks his blanket over his head. “Leave me alone.”

"Up and at 'em, Atom Man!" Cas calls, pulling the covers back down. “They day's almost gone, roomie!"

Sam’s eyes fly open, mind locking on the single word.

_roomie_

He notices the angel immediately and, although Lucifer’s shape is no longer present, he jumps back, sending himself over the side of the bed and onto the floor.

“Relax, Sam,” Cas says, standing up. “Geez.”

The younger Winchester scrambles to his feet. “What the hell is going on?”

“Okay, I get it.” Cas raises his hands. “You didn’t like the song choice.”

_the_ song _choice?_

“Damn it. I knew I should have stuck with Zeppelin.”

Sam shakes his head, thoroughly confused. “Cas, what are you talking about?”

“You still like _Stairway to Heaven?”_

Sam freezes.

_no no no_

“What?” he says quietly.

Cas purses his lips. “ _Stairway to Heaven._ It’s one of my favorites, but I figured this time I’d try something new.” He points at him. “Hey, have you seen _Galavant?”_

“I don’t—“

“It’s a television show. In its second year, I think.”

Sam glances towards the open doorway. 

_should i_

“There’s this one guy in it,” the angel continues, “Tim Omundson, or something like that, and he’s got a great voice.”

_go_

“He’s no Zeppelin but, when it comes to musical comedy, he’s _definitely_ in a league of his own.”

_now_

Not quite knowing what he’s doing, Sam pushes off the balls of his feet and makes a run for the hallway. He’s not even taken two steps when he feels himself being lifted off of the ground thrown through the air. He tries to cry out but, the moment he hits the wall, the air is punched from his lungs.

Castiel walks slowly up to him and sighs. “And here I thought we could still do the whole “conversation” thing.”

“Cas—“

“Not _Cas_ ,” the angel cuts him off, then presses three fingers against Sam’s temple.

Sam tries to look away as a blinding light floods his vision, but suddenly he sees.

Suddenly, he _knows._

“Lucifer.” The name catches in his throat, burns his mind as he takes in what’s happening, what’s _going_ to happen.

The archangel smiles, straightening out his tie. “Looking good, huh?”

Sam doesn’t spare another moment. “Dean!” He shouts, the call for help barely seeing daylight as Cas catches him by the throat and slams him against the wall. 

In a bid to prove his dominance, Lucifer attempts raise him up, like he did to Dean in The Cage. But no matter how hard he tries, he can’t stretch his arm out far enough to lift Sam’s feet off of the ground. He breathes out harshly. “This whole height thing is really throwing me off. You know, I could see the whole damn planet when I was riding _your_ ass.”

_stay present_

Sam pulls at Lucifer’s hand, chest tightening in pain.

“Even _Nick_ was pretty tall. But little bro?” The angel scoffs, mocking his vessel. “ _God,_ he’s short as hell.”

“Can’t—“ Sam digs his nails into Cas’ skin. “I can’t—“

Lucifer releases his hold, dropping Sam to the floor. “Humans,” he mutters.

“Sam?”

Both men turn towards the door in time to see Dean rush inside. 

Surveying the room, the older Winchester pauses, not understanding they way they’re positioned. “You guys alright?”

“Dean,” Sam calls to him, desperate to explain. “It’s— it’s Lucifer.”

Adjusting to a less threatening stance, Dean responds gently, “It’s not him, Sammy. You’re seeing things again.”

“I’m not!” The boy cries out, voice strained. “I swear to God, Dean, it’s him!”

_believe me please believe me_

Dean looks at the angel. “Sam…”

_“Cas is Lucifer!”_

The room falls into silence as Dean digests the accusation. It’s rash and unfounded and, considering the fact that Sam is almost certifiable, it would be foolish to take his word as law. And yet…

_trust me_

“Cas?” Dean’s gaze washes over his friend’s startlingly calm form. “That's not— that's not true, is it?”

The angel grimaces apologetically. “Yeaaah…Sorry about that.”

Dean’s eyes immediately flick back to Sam, taking in his terrified expression. And, without a second thought, he rushes Lucifer.

“Don’t—“ Sam shouts, but there is nothing he can do save watch his brother getting thrown to the opposite side of the room and slamming violently against the wall.

The older Winchester groans as he hits the ground, hands against his head.

“Now, Dean,” Lucifer scolds, arms crossed, “we’ve been through this many times. So why don’t you be a good boy and just stay where you are?”

Ignoring the command, Dean gets to his feet. “How are you possessing him?” He asks, clutching his stomach nauseously.

“Uh… he said “yes”?”

“Cas would never—“

“Do something so stupid?” The angel nods, a bit of laughter escaping from between his lips. “Yeah, you’d think that, wouldn’t you? Honestly, I was a bit surprised myself.”

Sam looks up. “Why did you say “yes”?”

Lucifer furrows his brow. “Are you talking to me?

“I’m talking to _Cas_.”

“Well, he’s kind of on lockdown right now, so—“

“Can he hear me?”

Lucifer cocks his head. “He can…”

The younger Winchester nods and gets to his feet. “Good.”

“Sam—“ Dean tries, but he is ignored.

Taking a deep breath, Sam looks Lucifer directly in the eyes. “Cas, if you’re listening: You know me. You know what I was like before I was soulless, before The Cage, before Lucifer. And you know what I was like after all of that. I was afraid, Cas. More afraid than I have ever been in my entire life. Five years later, I was doing fine. I was getting past it. Hell, I even had _sex._ The last time I did that was—“ 

His voice catches at the thought.

_keep going keep going keep going_

He presses his thumb against his palm, digging the nail into the skin. “When I was in The Cage, Lucifer tried to persuade me to say “yes”. When I refused, I braced myself for the worst. I expected torture. I expected his voice to drive me insane. I expected him to rape me.” 

Sam catches Dean in his gaze for half a moment; his brother’s fear and horror at the revelation is unmistakable. Eyes watering, he looks back to Lucifer.

“But then you and Dean showed up. And, even though the odds were stacked against us, I suddenly had hope.”

The angel smiles.

“And then you went and did this.” Sam swallows hard. “I’m scared, Cas. He’s out, _Lucifer’s_ out, and he’s here. With me. He doesn’t want you for his vessel. He just needed a meat suit so he could escape. All of those things I prayed he wouldn’t do to me inside that Cage?” A tear streaks down the side of his face. “Now he can do whatever the hell he wants.” He steps forwards, rationality fleeing as he closes the space between them. “And this time, it’s on _you._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said the entire work would be up before the next episode, but I've been so busy I haven't had time to finish writing the final part.  
> Sorry.  
> I'll post it as soon as I can.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Break him.

“Ha!” Lucifer claps his hands together, a smile stretching across his face. “ _Wow,_ that was riveting!” 

Sam locks his jaw, forcing himself to remain still as the angel closes in.

“So, are you saying we can skip all of that?” Lucifer touches a finger to his boy’s chest. “Cause I really don’t get all that much joy out of torturing people.”

“Yeah, you do.” Sam moves to knock his arm away, but the angel catches him by the wrist.

“Yeah, okay, I do.” Lucifer smiles for a moment, then glances over his shoulder at Dean. “So, what do you say?” He leans in even more, lips just skimming the boy’s knuckles. “Should we ditch big brother?"

_i’m fine_

Sam looks away as Lucifer turns his attention to his jaw, peppering kisses across the skin.

“Or should we play catch-up right here?”

_i’m fine_

The angel nips at his ear, drawing blood. He takes in the bitterness with a sigh of content. “It must be a crime,” he murmurs, relishing the flavor, “tasting this good.”

_i’m fine i’m fine_

“Is he watching?” the angel murmurs as he works his way down his neck.

Sam’s turns his gaze towards Dean and the two of them lock eyes. 

_i’m fine_

“I always thought of your brother as a sort of voyeur.”

_i’m fine_

Lucifer’s voice lowers into a growl. “C’mon, Sammy, work with me here.”

_i’m fine_

The angel thrusts his hips forwards, punishing the boy with prolonged contact, ensuring that he will feel everything.

_i’m fine i’m fine god please i’m fine_

Tears threaten to fall, but Sam just continues to stare straight ahead. He won’t look away from Dean, not now, he can’t, it’d be too much, he needs him right now, he needs something to hold him here, to keep him grounded.

“Really?” Lucifer pulls back, brow furrowed. “This isn’t doing anything for you?”

_i’m fine don’t look at him i’m fine_

Lucifer grabs Sam firmly by the jaw. “Sunshine, I’m gonna ride your ass in one way or another and, since the more _figurative_ option is “never gonna happen”, I don’t wanna be the only one getting pleasure out of the _literal_ one. So, if it’s alright…” He reaches a hand towards the boy’s crotch, waiting for a response.

But the younger Winchester doesn’t even move an inch.

The angel nods. “I’ll take that as a “yes”.” Wasting no time, he slides his fingers against Sam’s belt, teasing at the buckle before dipping down against his jeans.

_i’m fine_

Dean turns his face away and his brother jumps, suddenly terrified.

_look at me dean now please look at me dean dean dean_

Lucifer feels Sam’s breathing hitch, feels him move against his skin, and he realizes without turning around what the older Winchester did. With a wave of his hand, Dean is shoved to the floor and pressed up against the wall, unable to move his head, unable to look anywhere but at the horror that is unfolding before him. “Watch,” Lucifer orders, then turns his attention back on Sam.

_i’m fine i can do this i’m fine_

The archangel reaches down further, fingers skimming Sam’s thinly clothed cock as he takes it in his hand. “Come on, baby,” he murmurs, massaging it gently. “Come on.”

_no no no no no_

He moves his other hand to the boy’s back, sliding it down until he’s touching his ass.

Sam, coherent thoughts beginning to leak away, moans softly in pleasure.

“Oh, yeah,” Lucifer smiles. “There it is.” He increases his pace, stroking his cock the best he can through the material as he dips the back hand beneath the lip of his jeans. Feeling the boxer briefs, he purses his lips. “Hmm. Layers. I’m going to have to do something about that later.” Then he slips his fingers into them as well.

Sam leans into the angel’s shoulder and closes his eyes, groans muffled by the trench coat.

Lucifer scoffs, “Didn’t enjoy it, my ass.” He touches lightly against Sam’s hole, teasing the entrance.

The boy arches his back when he feels it, gasping at how close he is.

Then Lucifer slides his entire finger inside.

A cry of ecstasy burst from between Sam’s lips as he jerks against the angel’s hand, calling out a single name: “Lucifer!” 

Grinning in satisfaction, Lucifer allows Sam to rest a moment in his arms. Then he drops him to the floor, watching Sam’s eyes as they continue to loll back, entire body riding out the waves of his orgasm.

“Sam?”

The strained voice reaches through Sam’s clouded thoughts and he tries to refocus, stomach still spasming.

“Sam, please, talk to me.”

His eyes center on Dean’s stiff form, taking in the terror and disgust that twists his face. He grapples with his thoughts as his brain begins to clear, and suddenly he realizes the pain in his groin, the wetness of his jeans.

_no_

“Oh god.” He looks down at his pants, at the stain blooming across the material. “Oh god oh god oh god what did I do?”

“Me.”

Sam’s eyes fly to Lucifer’s face.

“No. Wait.” The angel pauses, a finger in the air. “That comes next.”

Putting his hands to his head, Sam turns away, trying to ignore the lingering feeling in his abdomen.

Lucifer crouches down and puts a hand on his boy’s shoulder, laughing when he flinches. “Now, now, Sam. This is nothing to be embarrassed about.” He gestures towards Sam’s crotch. “Thousands of people have the same problem.” Dipping his head towards his lips, he continues, “And we’ve certainly got enough time to find a solution.”

Sam blinks away tears, avoiding his gaze. “Cas—“

“Cas isn’t here anymore, bunk buddy. It’s just you and me.”

“But why?”

Lucifer cocks his head. “I don’t understand.”

“You already have a vessel,” Sam expands, “and he’s a damn angel to boot. You don’t need me.”

The angel frowns, almost insulted. “Well, that’s not true, Sam. We’re bonded, you and I. Day or night, no matter how far apart, we will always be together.”

Sam breathes softly out of his nose. “For better or for worse,” he says quietly.

Lucifer nods at the addition. “For better or for worse.”

Sam looks to his brother, but Dean, though he is unable to turn away, casts his eyes towards the floor.

_please dean please_

“Do you dream, Sam?”

The younger Winchester returns his gaze to Lucifer. “Yes.”

“About me?”

Sam swallows hard, trying to keep his breathing in check. “No.”

Lucifer scoffs, laughter in his eyes. “Really?” He slides a knife from the sheath bound to Sam’s ankle. “Are you sure you don’t want to change your answer?” he questions, drawing the blade slowly across his skin.

Sam offers him no response.

Irritated at the inconvenience, Lucifer swivels the knife in his hand and, without looking, throws it at Dean. 

The older Winchester tightens his jaw as the weapon buries itself less than an inch away from his head.

“Alright!” Sam calls out, and Lucifer turns to him expectantly. He takes a deep breath. “Yes.”

“”Yes”, what?”

“I dream about you.”

Lucifer purses his lips. “Nightmares?”

“Usually.”

“But not always.”

Sam can feel Dean’s gaze upon him, but this time it he who does not reciprocate. “No.”

“No?”

“Sometimes—“ Sam grits his teeth, building up courage. “Sometimes I welcome you in.”

Lucifer’s eyes light up. “Literally or figuratively?”

“Figuratively,” the boy says firmly, set on staying away from the angel’s favourite topic.

“Well, that’s disappointing.” He touches a finger against his mouth. “But not a complete loss.”

Sam’s chest tightens. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you like me.”

Sam tries to wrap his mind around the absurd idea. “Are you insane?”

“Completely certifiable,” Lucifer smiles, then continues. “You’re dreaming about accepting my offer. About the two of us, together, just as we were meant to be.”

“They’re nightmares!” Sam bursts out.

“Then why don’t you call them that?”

_caught_

“You need me, Sam, and not just to beat the Darkness.” Lucifer adjust his stance, invading even more of his boy’s personal space. “Without me, you are nothing.”

Sam shakes his head. “That’s not true.”

“Sure it is,” the angel replies. “Here, let’s do a little experiment.” He slides Cas’ angel blade from his sleeve and raises it in the air, waving it in front of Sam. Once he recognizes the fear on his pale face, he smirks and turns the weapon around. He presses the point against his own neck and, taking up Sam’s hand, wraps his boy’s fingers around the pommel. Then he releases his grip. “Go ahead.”

Sam continues to hold the blade against his throat, shock and confusion overwhelming him. 

_come on_

“What are you waiting for?” Dean cries out above his thoughts. “Do it!”

_you have to_

Sam forces himself to push the blade forwards, digging the tip into the angel’s neck, but it isn’t even hard enough to draw blood.

Lucifer doesn’t move; he just waits.

“Kill him!” Dean screams.

_but how_

Sam’s heart hammers against his chest. This single strike could kill him, could finish the war before it’s begun. And yet…

_i’m sorry_

Sam lowers the blade. “I can’t.”

Lucifer gently takes the weapon away from him. “Tell me why,” he says, voice soft.

“If you go, you take my mind with you.” Sam drops his eyes. “I can’t do that again.”

“Finally putting yourself first.” The angel raises his hands as though in celebration. “I’m glad to see our talk helped.”

_you could have saved the world,_ he feels Lucifer whisper with Dean's voice. _but you betrayed me, like you always do._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people don't realize that "no" means "no".  
> Lucifer is one of those people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's February 10, 1:19am EST, and yes, boys and girls, it is finally finished.

“You know,” Lucifer taps a finger against his mouth, “there’s one other thing I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

Sam sighs. “And what’s that?’

“Every time you’ve tried to kill me, we’ve been together. If you’d succeeded, you would’ve killed yourself too.”

The younger Winchester looks back up, anxiety tearing all exhaustion away.

_stop_

“And,” the angel grins, enjoying the uncomfortable territory, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re completely fine with that. You _welcome_ death.”

“No,” Sam fights weakly.

“But you can’t do it yourself because, what if you fail? What would big brother think?” He thumbs at his nose, expression implying that he is impressed. “Taking both of us out at once. Quite the effective “two birds, one stone” scenario.”

“None of that’s true.”

“Tell me, Sam,” Lucifer continues, ignoring what he perceives to be a blatant lie. “How much of this life do you think is real?”

_no_

Sam’s breathing shallows. “What?”

“Your existence,” the archangel rephrases, “right here and now: do you think it’s a lie?”

_not again not again please_

“I don’t understand.”

“That’s why you want to kill yourself, right? You believe that, if you die, it’ll all be over: the nightmares, the hallucinations…” Lucifer smiles, lips pursed. “You’d rather an eternity with _me_ than be tortured by the thought that all of this, that all that you’ve accomplished, that _none of it_ is real.” He shifts, allowing Sam to see his brother as he gestures towards him. “That _Dean_ isn’t real.”

Sam’s eyes gloss over Dean for but a moment, giving the older Winchester no time to try and hold his gaze. He looks back to Lucifer and says quietly, “I just want certainty.”

“As do we all.” Lucifer sighs. “I need you to understand something, Sam. If we’re together, this pain will go away. You will have the certainty, the _truth_ that you crave. All of this I give to you. But you have to say “yes”.”

“Sam.” Dean says the name with as much comfort as he can muster, but it is countered by the disgust that still lingers in his voice. He seems loathe to forgive the boy for not killing the archangel when he had the chance. “Don’t listen to him. You don’t need his help. We’ve fixed this before; we can fix it again.”

Lucifer puts a hand alongside his mouth, as though sharing a secret. “I don’t know about you, Sam,” he whispers loudly, “but I think he sounds kind of desperate.”

_maybe maybe maybe we can_

**_Yeah, that’s rational._ **

_i was cured_

**_By Cas._ **

_by_

**_Oh wait, no, he can’t help you this time._ **

_god no_

**_He decided to take a few vacation days._ **

_please_

**_Left your ass for_ me _to take care of._**

_go away_

Lucifer puts a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Just say “yes”.”

The younger Winchester runs his hands through his hair. He wants stability; it’s all he’s fought for since the first time Lucifer peeled apart his mind. The angel was right in that he doesn’t care if he dies. He _wants_ to die. And if that isn’t a option, he chooses sanity instead. But is he willing to unleash the full power of Lucifer by letting him in? He knows which decision is beneficial, is less dangerous, is _right,_ but what about _him?_ Is he really willing to sacrifice his mind?

_i have to do this_

Sam closes his eyes, building himself up to respond to the most important offer he’s ever been given. He breathes out and looks up. “I’m sorry.”

“Heh.” Lucifer locks his jaw. “And ‘Selfless Sam’ is back again.”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“It makes you weak,” his spits, growing more irritated by the second.

Sam shakes his head. “Not enough to keep me from what I have to do.” And then he punches Lucifer across the face.

The archangel falls to the ground, angel blade clattering across the floor as he tries to recover from the surprise attack. A loud growl rumbling in his throat, he gets to his feet.

Sam scoops up the dropped weapon and, when Lucifer turns around, swings it in a wide arc, slicing his throat.

Lucifer screams, the strike not killing him but causing an enormous amount of pain. Castiel’s grace begins to leak from the wound and he quickly shoves a hand against it, closing it up. If his vessel’s grace were to leave, Castiel’s body would be as ineffective as Nick’s. The shell would break down and eventually collapse, sending the archangel out into the open air. God only knows how long it would take him to find a suitable replacement.

**_You’ll live to regret that._ **

“Bitch!” He roars aloud, furious. Raising his own fist, he punches Sam square in the face.

Sam stumbles back into the wall, both hands pressed against his bleeding nose.

Wasting no more time, Lucifer lands another on his boy’s stomach, causing him to buckle over in pain. He threads his fingers through his long hair and grabs hold at the roots as he swings his knee upwards, brutally connecting it with Sam’s face.

Dean screams for Lucifer to stop, to stop fighting, to stop killing his little brother. But his voice is mere background noise in this one-sided battle.

The archangel knees Sam in the face once more, then releases him.

Sam takes a swing at his attacker, but it’s unrestrained, fueled more by fear than determination. 

With a bark of laughter, Lucifer ducks and throws his own punch, fist slamming against his stomach.

The younger Winchester nearly falls, but he catches himself against the wall, trying to regain his breath.

_stupid stupid stupid stupid_

Lucifer slams his foot down on Sam’s calf and his boy screams, collapsing to the floor, agony raging up his mangled leg and through his entire body.

_STOP_

**_TOO. GODDAMN. LATE._ **

Sam tries to pull himself up but, the moment he does, he is greeted with another punch. He does this again and again, hoping that it will stop, that all of it will stop, that Lucifer will stop, but he doesn’t, of course he doesn’t, and Lucifer just keeps on beating him down until Sam’s entire face is slathered in blood. Finally, he concedes. “Please,” he begs, raising up both hands in surrender. 

But Lucifer doesn’t care for mercy. He barely knows the meaning of the word. Lashing out, he takes his boy’s wrist firmly in his hand. Without a thought, he twists his arm, fast and hard, a moan of pure ecstasy slipping from between his lips as he hears the crack of bone and a second scream pierce the air.

Tears in his eyes, Sam doesn’t even try to pull away. He knows when he is beaten.

The archangel reclaims Castiel’s blade from the floor and takes the younger Winchester firmly by the collar. “You and I,” he murmurs, needling the weapon against his shoulder. “We’re gonna go someplace quiet and have a nice, long talk.” Then he shoves the blade forwards, burying it just above his boy’s heart. 

One final cry rips itself from Sam’s throat. He grabs at the blade, at the pommel, at Lucifer’s hands, but everything, all of it, is just covered in blood. His blood. 

Lucifer tightens his grip and his boy sobs, the agony he feels drawing him back in time, back, back, back to where he and the angel began. Looking over at Dean's pale face, Lucifer shrugs and smiles. “Your fault.”

And then they’re gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fiddled with how Lucifer could have possessed Cas because I saw so many people confused as to how he did it. Don't get me wrong; I have absolutely no idea how it was possible. But I figured I'd slip in an (unlikely) possibility: that he either needs his true vessel (Sam) or the grace of another angel (to keep him from destroying another Nick).
> 
> This is the end of the first part of what is the beginnings of a series. The series is called 'In Me'.
> 
> God bless Supernatural and a happy freakin' birthday to me.


End file.
